Out Of The Darkness Into The Light

A Memoir Of Suicide Survival, Strength and Love

The True Confessions of a Suicide Survivor

Fighting seven years of crippling depression in a chaotic dysfunctional family, Kerri can't imagine living another day without hope. She decides to end it all….!

In the wake of a failed suicide attempt, she is terrifyingly “imprisoned” in a Mental Health Hospital to which, when released, she will be returned unless she strictly follows five rules. In a community where everyone knows everyone else’s business, she is ostracized for what she has attempted to do and failed at. After all, she learns, no one wants to talk to a freak!

In a bid to reunite the family, her parents take her to sunny Florida for an amazing Disney World experience where she meets Trevor, the boy of her dreams.  Then, she discovers, to her dismay -- he lives an ocean away from her!

Quickly falling in love, a long distance relationship ensues. In a time when email and texting does not exist can Kerri and Trevor keep their relationship going? Can Kerri re-build her life and get back to a new “normal”?

“Out of the Darkness and Into the Light” is Kerri’s shocking, heartbreaking and sometimes funny account of self-discovery, acceptance, strength and love, sure to resonate in the hearts of all who read it.


Most Helpful Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition

I just finished reading your book and I found it to be INSPIRING and true that "DREAMS do come TRUE".
I believe it is a great story for teenagers who are thinking about suicide. I found this statement: "You do NOT have to take a permanent solution to a temporary problem" to be very powerful and one that I hope everyone will consider.
I loved your WHY! I hope everyone that reads your book will realize that THEY ARE SPECIAL and our Heavenly Father loves them very much and wants a personal relationship with them in spite of their perceived imperfections.
The book was interesting from the start and kept my attention wondering what the next chapter would hold. In each chapter I kept hoping that you and Trevor were going to have a fairy tale ending.
I also liked the point that you made that our "thoughts become things" and that we all should be mindful of what we are thinking as that's how we create our tomorrows.
Kerri, thank you for sharing your story and I too pray that it will HELP OTHERS.
Wishing you continued success and abundant blessings.


Format: Kindle Edition

This is a true story and most teenagers can relate to Kerri's teen years. It is very interesting and held my attention. Her meeting her dream life's companion was a serendipity experience. Growing up in a dysfunctional family with other relatives I could relate to her emotional struggles. Fortunately Kerri has a happy ever-after ending! I especially recommend this book to teenagers having rough times. You can get through it!:)))


Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase

I just read your book and was blown away!!! I am so happy and grateful that you chose to write and share your story. I purchased the Kindle edition and did not have to wait for the mail. I found it hard to put down. I definitely recommend this book!!!


Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase

Beautifully written. Recommend highly. Good read for all ages.
I think this is a book that all middle school kids should read. Maybe it would help "bullies" see what they do to others as well as help "the bullied" kids handle what others do to them. I've thought about suicide in the past but never acted on it. I wasn't even a bullied kid, just shy. I enjoyed reading about this author life, what she went though and how she deals with it today. I think this book would be encouraging for kids to realize that it just takes a good hearted person in your life to turn it all around. Patience and family can get you there. This is a book that I will probably read many times, especially when I'm in a mood where I need a little bit of encouragement. Highly recommended!


Oh my gosh, this book stirred up a whole lot of emotions in me because of how relate-able it is. As i read throughout the whole book, i became sad, i became angry, i became happy and i also became hopeful (you know what they say about a silver lining).

It's the sort of story that most of us, no matter our ages, can actually relate do because these are the things that are happening in our everyday lives. if it hasn't happened to you, then it surely has happened to a loved one. It talks about depression, bullying and family. The author does a great job advising and letting the reader know that with family by your side plus great perseverance and patience, you will pull through. I give this book 5 stars!


I received this novel as a gift.

First I need to say I have some personal ties to the subject as I myself have tried to committ suicide, so I was all the more critical as to how this novel would deal with this touchy subject.

I must also say I was moved by the writer's intention of writing this memoir and I enjoyed the style of writing. Somehow I was reading my own teenage experience and I could relate to all of her feelings. We all know that being a teenager is a journey of finding yourself and rebellion which Kerri Gardner beautifully described. This novel will hopefully wake people up to this issue and stop teenagers from making the same mistake.

Profile Photo Kerri Gardner

About Kerri Gardner

Kerri Gardner is a wife, mother, author, blogger, motivational speaker and suicide survivor.

Kerri graduated High School in 1992. She attended and graduated from Bay State College in Back Bay Boston in 1994. She considers herself a JILL of All TRADES.

Unlike other authors, Kerri didn’t go to school for writing.  Instead, for years after her attempted suicide, she started writing and collecting journals.  She excelled in Literature class in both High School and College.  Writing was always a true passion; she never believed it could be a career choice for her.

After years of “trying out several careers,” including Travel Agent, Admin Assistant, IT Help Desk Support, Sales for 15 years through a home based business, Real Estate Agent and Dental Assistant.  Finally, Kerri realized her true passion was to follow her heart and write that book that she had longed to write for years, yet was afraid to try.  Being ashamed of her attempted suicide for 25 years, it took an email from her daughter’s school explaining that a friend of her daughter killed herself over the weekend.  While Kerri realized that the school would be taking whatever measures it could to ensure each student had help in dealing with the loss of their classmate and friend, the email was the catalyst that enabled Kerri to stop being ashamed of her suicide attempt and use her story to help others dealing with depression, bullying, and suicidal thoughts.

Kerri is an optimist, a true leader, and a believer that we all can have our “BEST LIVES NOW,” regardless of the pain from the past or current circumstances.   Kerri believes we live in an abundant world full of exciting new opportunities.  She feels that with positive consistent action toward your dreams, you can produce a happier, more fulfilling life of your own design.  Kerri lives with her husband Trevor and their three children in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Kerri Gardner is available for select speaking engagements. To inquire, please contact Kerri through her website

All books by Kerri Gardner

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