Generating Effluence

Achieving Limitless Affluence on the Playground of Ordered Possibilities

Generating Effluence is the passport to an incomparable journey of self-discovery. This book explores the meaning of Everything, Nothing, and our relation to both. In it, Dr. Popache charts a course of knowledge that encompasses the quantum quirks of subatomic particles and the very nature of God. The totally illogical concept of a Field of All Possibilities is scorched by the good doctor’s reason and plowed under by his application of science. Popache’s arguments interspersed and supported by the wisdom of Bleen, pave over that burnt and decrepit field with the smooth and level Playground of Ordered Possibilities (PoOP). The action of every particle that makes up rocks, trees, ice cream cones, and you and I follows the strict and uncompromising rules imposed by the PoOP. When we accept that the concept of free will is a sham, that we cannot buck the Universe’s design for our lives, that we cannot become something other than what we already are, we are truly freed. Using the alphabet as a mnemonic and guide, the most sublime intellect of our age lays out the method for us all to participate in the bounty of life by the simple act of becoming Nothing. The transcendent but easily accessible advice within these pages is the key to joy, personal satisfaction, and immeasurable prosperity. Unbridled Affluence will follow once we remove the Everything blocking our Effluence. Then our lives will overflow with pure Effluent, just like this book. Our eminent guide challenges us to stand up, shake off the negative energy of our egos, and accept a Universe that, on a good day, is pathologically chaotic. Hark! The whistle blows! We embark now. Hop aboard. Purchase this book and the future is yours. Place this book back on the shelf and you may regret it tomorrow when the Universe sneaks up and smacks you upside the head.


I was a miserable shell of a man, dissatisfied and disillusioned with my so called ‘life.’ Doctors failed to cure my chronic bad breath and body odor. My stink foot gagged my family members and sent my dog into a coma. Then I read Dr. Popache’s book and was transformed, body and soul. I no longer reek. I am no longer a pariah in the gym. Instead of scowling, my face radiates joy. Instead of pounding a galley ship drumbeat, my heart beats with the peristaltic rhythm of Effluence.
—Ren Kegan, Frog Twanger Second Class


Generating Effluence is an incisive parody of inspirational/self-help books. If it wasn’t for the occasional shot of humor, the advice in this book could easily be taken seriously. Many times it is actually more insightful than the books it imitates. It will be interesting to see how many fall for it. Oops! Did I just give it away?

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